2011 Mercedes-Benz CL63 AMG

[رانيا 2]

Miami's a giant concrete brothel; a municipal madame hosting sweaty assignations that pair every income with its choice of cruise, cuisine, club, narcotic or panorama. We were there on a quest for a quest, anxious Lancelots after a late night run in a Series II E-Type over the A1A – yes, the Vanilla Ice road – had turned into a late, late evening with two Spaniards and three Ecuadorians discussing the merits of Top Gear and flying to Bogota to learn Spanish.

That's when Destiny called. Not fate itself, but a ferociously alluring lass with a voice of such fine tenor we had to fight the urge to put the phone down and bow to it whenever she spoke. She requested our presence in Tampa, 271 miles away, and we could only credit fortune for the delivery of a 2011 Mercedes-Benz CL63 AMG for the purpose. It's the ultimate in modest-yet-graceful savagery (modest compared to the Bentley Continental GT), two tons of animatronic shark – a modern, mechanical Jaws – that would get us safely through the gators, hawks and sawgrass of the Everglades.

It turns out the predators were the least of it. First, we had to get out of the humid human swamp that is Miami.